Question

There is a saying that goes something like this: the game will never be far as long as the referee is our opponents father.

The rules of the game are unfair, their are illegal calls on our team, not to mention the other team got a 100m head start.

My mother (Joyce) used to always tell my older brother & I that in order to be equal with our white peers, we will always have to work twice as hard; and to surpass them, it will take that much more work.

However, I have found this only to be relevant if we choose to play the game by their rules. I mean think about it, the game has been engineered to ensure our failure. The game makes sure that the establishment profits off of us no matter what we do, "fail" or "succeed".

So my question is, why don't we play our own game? Why don't we "do for self & kind". Instead of begging for a place at a table that does not want us and has always given us the leftovers or scraps, why don't we set our own table.

Pondering

Just thinking about all of teh changes I have been through during the last couple of months. There have been many times where I have wanted to just cry out and ask to end it all, but alas this was not the case and I have endured. I can't quite say that I have made it through yet, but I know I will. I guess one of the main things that I have had reaffirmed for me is that everything changes and that I should be flexible enough to change also. I have learned that I should never hold onto anything that I cannot let go of easily. I still don't feel like myself, I feel trapped. Freedom is being ale to be me without caring what anyone else has to say. It looks like I will have to struggle through some upcoming difficulties, but I guess there is a lesson to be learned.